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Launch Notes: On Resilience...
This is the SUBHEAD...
Nobody can deny that both working life and professional life can get stormy at times. And our ability to thrive when the going gets tough is down to our emotional resilience - our ability to stay resourceful when things get squally.

So Episode Two of the Nobody Needs a Coach podcast is about Emotional Resilience, and here's a little preview of what I will be talking about.

I'd love to know what you think, and to hear about your own experiences, so please do leave me a comment! And if you think it will be helpful for anyone please feel free to share it with them…

I've been thinking a lot about resilience lately, and it's such an important area that I will make it the topic for one of the launch episodes as well.

I suppose the best place to start is by asking what I mean by 'resilience'? Specifically 'emotional resilience'

And I think a helpful definition is to propose that emotional resilience is the ability to stay resourceful in stormy weather.

Now that's not to say that when a storm hits we should just dig in and plug on regardless. Not at all. It's much more about understanding the nature of the squalls that are likely to hit, and having a portfolio of strategies that we've designed, crafted, tested and rehearsed that we can call on when the difficult things happen, as we know they will. It is, in other words, about choice.

You know as well as I do that some people seem to be naturally resilient, and by their nature or experience or insight are able to respond resourcefully to situations the rest of us would find incomprehensible, overwhelming or even intolerable. They seem to ride out the storms of life with an enviable elegance and style.

We probably also know of other people who seem to deflate at what looks to us like a relatively insignificant setback.

And the rest of us are somewhere in the middle muddling along as best we can!

free - yes please...

Now it's important to say at this point that there's no judgment here. There are very good reasons why some people show incredible resilience and others run out of steam, and they are reasons to do with their fundamental nature, to do with life experience, to do with education, to do with support networks, and perhaps even to do with health. This, however, isn't the place to delve into the psychology of the thing and try to explain.

What I want to do here is to look at practicalities, and to wonder whether we can all learn from the resilience strategies of the most resilient individuals and, if so, how we can add them into our own portfolio of behavioural options.

And this question raises a number of further questions.

First, of course, we need to ask 'is the event real?'. It's all too easy to distort a harmless situation into a threat. So how can we be sure that what we are reacting to is a genuine issue, and not some catastrophising fantasy made to seem powerfully real by our own inner sensitivities.

And if it does turn out to be real, is it possible to choose whether or not we engage with the adverse event at all? After all, Hamlet asks whether it is 'nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of trouble and, by opposing, end them'. Fair enough, we have the choice to endure or to act. But there is a third option: to recognise that what we think is an issue might, in fact, be nothing to do with us. Can we choose to be a dispassionate observer, perhaps even an advisor or mentor or consultant or coach to the person to whom the issue truly belongs. Sometimes we can choose to stay outside the tent. We don't have to take it on. And sometimes the healthiest and most resourceful thing we can do might even be to sidestep it completely and direct our energies more usefully elsewhere.

Third, can we learn anything from how different people actually experience events?  One person might seem able to rise above difficulties and see a way through. Another person experiencing the exact same event gets bogged down in a swamp of emotion. So what's the difference that makes the difference? How can we give ourselves the best chance of keeping our emotional feet on the ground and maintain an appropriate perspective?

Next, can we learn from how people behave when actually working to resolve the situation? After all, the more tools we have in the toolbox the more situations we can deal with elegantly.

And finally, of course, is it possible to become more aware of the early warning signs and take measures to prevent potential issues from erupting into the sort of adverse event that disrupts life, tests relationships, keeps us awake at night and might challenge our resilience to breaking point and beyond.

I believe that the answer to all these questions is a resounding yes.

And that's what I'll be exploring in the second launch episode, where my aim is to go deeper into these questions and share some practical strategies for building personal emotional resilience.

So I hope you enjoy it when it's released on January thirtieth! And I hope you find that it's something you can use in your own life and career.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this, and I'd be interested to hear about your own experiences.

So please leave me a comment, and if you think this would be useful for anyone go ahead and share it with them. In the meantime I'll sign off by wishing you every success in whatever you are doing, whatever that success might mean for you. Bye for now and I'll see you again, next time.

Launching 30 January 2023


I firmly and passionately believe that coaching is a positive, forward looking and intentional investment in your creation of a fulfilling, rewarding and successful future. But sometimes the time isn't right, or the financial resources aren't there, or the company won't fund it.

And that's why I created the 'Nobody Needs a Coach' podcast.

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